


Before you leave

by Roosterbytes



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: M/M, This is probably sad.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roosterbytes/pseuds/Roosterbytes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack couldn't let it go on any longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One last kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea earlier today. I've been really stressed lately and I basically set up the plot for each chapter. I don't really know the point of this story but eh. I'm writing it. All aboard the unnecessary sadness train.

He didn’t know when it was going to end. He just knew that it would and if he continued any further he was going past the point of no return. He’d become vulnerable, throwing his heart and soul into their relationship and he didn’t know if he’d be able to bounce back from it. He wanted to marry Mark. He wanted to own a house and a dog. Adopt kids and pay bills. He wanted a life with Mark, so he needed to leave before Mark did.

 

Jack sighed, rubbing his face before his hands slid through his hair, strands sliding through his fingers. Mark was asleep beside him and Jack was tempted to lay back down, pull the blankets up and curl into him.

But he couldn’t.

Instead Jack slid the sheets off his body and stood, making his way towards the bathroom before gathering things into a suitcase. He didn’t want to.. but he had to, even if it caused immense pain in his chest, a lump in his throat and tears to fall down his cheeks, he had to choke back the sobs and leave.

While Jack was packing, he noticed he’d folded Mark’s lucky flannel into the suitcase and couldn’t bring himself to take it out. Instead he shut the suitcase and got into normal clothes. He couldn’t miss his flight afterall. With one last glance and kiss to Mark’s face, Jack left.

 

The flight was miserable and the quiet apartment he now resided in was worse. It was quiet, the air so still and tense he was tempted to slice a knife through it. He cautiously walked through ‘his’ apartment and found the bedroom. Placing the suitcase on the bed, he sat in the middle of it, unsurely. As he took in his surroundings, tears fell heavy down his cheeks before the first of the sobs erupted from his throat.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to be with Mark. He knew the man was most likely awake by now and he’d left with no note or reason. Jack wanted to call him, to text him or check social media but his phone was off and his laptop stored away and he didn’t dare open the suitcase Mark’s lucky flannel resided in.

He knew it wouldn’t be easy. He knew it’d break him but this he could recover from, or so he hoped, whereas Mark leaving would destroy him. No amount of friends leaving and past loves could prepare him for how much heartbreak that’d cause him. At least if he left, it was before it got too deep. Before he got too vulnerable. And selfishly, at least it was on his own terms, even if it was forced.


	2. I miss you so much it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pain is unbearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's been almost a week. I'm sorry for that but thank you for being patient with me. I know this isn't the best chapter but I hope you like it nonetheless.

Jack doesn’t know why he’s so hellbent on tormenting himself.

It’s only been a day and he’s already holding his phone in his hand, hesitating on the power button. His will to stay away and his worry for Mark fighting back and forth in his head for what feels like days but has only been an hour before he bites his lip hard, slams his eyes shut and turns it on.

His phone explodes to life with missed calls and text messages. He gulps but dismisses them before turning to social media. Mark’s twitter has devolved to calling out for him, his tumblr about the same. Jack’s throat clenches shut with each message and he feels like he’s suffocating. He finally turns to the texts and his chest spikes in pain with each one. Voicemails come last and the sound of Mark’s voice so raw has Jack in hysterics. He’s on his knees, phone laid beside him on speaker which he must’ve hit on accident as he pounds his fists on the floor, screaming and sobbing loudly.

 

Once Jack’s let every emotion flow from him, the pain remains and he goes out to buy the heaviest drink he can. Once home he plans to hide his phone from himself but he’s not entirely sure it will work and at that point, he doesn’t care

 

Jack’s brain is fuzzy and his legs wobbly but he manages to find his phone hidden in the unplugged toaster. Jack giggles drunkenly, retrieving it before turning it on. After a few mistypes, he finally gets his password right and stumbles back to the bedroom in Mark’s flannel and a pair of boxers.

“Mark..” The word falls from his lips and his phone picks it up.

“Calling Mark…” It repeats back, which causes Jack to giggle as he falls onto the bed. There are tears falling down his face as he rolls onto his back, listening to the phone ring before it’s interrupted.

“JACK! Oh god Jack baby-” Mark’s voice is loud and raw in Jack’s ear which makes him wince.

“Sshh sssshhh sssssshhhhhhhhh…” Jack hushes. “Yer gun’na wake tha neighbors Markimoo.” Jack slurs, a small smile on his red face as tears fall down from his bloodshot eyes.

“Jack, oh god Jack, you’re alive. Are you drunk? Jack? Where are you? Jack, please tell me where you are!” Mark’s voice sounds relieved at first, before getting louder and louder with worry.

“Here.” Jack replies like it’s obvious. He takes a picture of himself and sends it to Mark along with several random letters that are supposed to be words. He hears Mark’s phone chime and a sharp intake of breath on the other end.

“Mark.. Mark.. I miss you. I wanna come home..” Jack mumbles, hiccuping lightly.

“I want you to come home too Jack. Where are you? I’ll come get you.” Jack can hear Mark beginning to cry on the other end.

“Noooo.. You’ll jus’ leave me. I don’t want ya ta leave so I had ta leave before you did..” Jack sobs.

“I won’t leave Jack, please, just tell me where you are.” Mark begs and Jack rambles off the address as best as he can through sobs and hiccups.

“I’m coming to get you Jack, okay, just stay there. I’m coming to take you home. I love you. Please don’t leave. Stay there and wait for me to come get you.” Mark whispers urgently.

“I love ya too Mark.. I-M’gonna stay ‘ere an wait fer you..” Jack hiccups. “M’so sorry Mark.. M’so sorry.”


	3. Lips of an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been over twenty-four hours and Mark hasn't slept a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's been a bit over a week I believe but I decided to settle down and do some writing for you all. It took me a couple of tries but I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Chapter title is "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder.

It’s been over twenty-four hours and Mark hasn’t slept a wink.

The house was eerily quiet save for the shuddering breaths that came from the bedroom. Mark sat, hunched over, on the edge of their bed, hands clasped firmly together as his body shook with the force of his sobs. His head hung between shaking shoulders, forehead resting heavily on his hands.

He couldn’t believe Jack was gone.

He’d woken up yesterday morning from a restless sleep to find Jack’s side empty, a bureau drawer hanging half open with some of Jack’s clothes missing. Mark remembers his heart stopping, slamming to a halt at the mere idea of Jack being gone. His breaths had become fast and heavy as he searched their entire apartment, even going so far to check under the bed and in the closets. And despite all his searching, he didn’t find Jack. 

His mind had raced with all the ideas of what could have happened to Jack. His phone had never felt so far away despite it just being across the room and he’d practically dived for it. Fumbling hands had texted Jack and when an hour went by with no response, he had called, over and over despite the phone being off. He’d taken to social media in hopes Jack was looking. He’d tried everything to get ahold of Jack, even though he knew it was fruitless. If Jack didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be but that didn’t stop Mark from trying.

It’s been over twenty-four hours and Mark hasn’t slept, nor has he stopped crying. He’d even searched the house for a note, not caring when he’d eventually turned to going through the trash. But despite his efforts, he didn’t find one. After his fruitless search, he’d resorted to watching Jack’s social media and praying for an answer despite knowing he wouldn’t get one. 

 

Mark noticed the tears had stopped flowing and allowed the tear tracks to dry on his cheeks. The carpet beneath his feet became unfocused as he began to shut down and allow a sort of numbness to take over him. Although his chest still constricted painfully, he allowed himself to disconnect from the world around him.

 

He was slammed back into the world around him when he heard his phone going off. Jack’s ringtone, a stereotypical Irish tune, played loudly throughout the room and he felt himself be thrown back into his body before frantically picking up the phone.

Mark doesn’t remember a good majority of the phone call. Little snippets of Jack’s slurred voice flowed through his head as sloppily put on clothes before grabbing his wallet and keys, which he may have forgotten until he’d gotten to the car and had to go back to retrieve them.

Once the car was started, there was no stopped Mark. His eyes were wide open as he drove, just barely obeying the speed limit. He was maybe five or ten miles over it, but right now he couldn’t give a fuck. The address Jack had drunkenly said to him replayed in his head and only when he was a few towns over did he realize he couldn’t drive there. The fastest way was to fly and he needed to get to Jack as soon as possible.

After a drive back home, a quick pick up of his passport and a small carry on and a few hours wait for his flight. He finally boarded his plane. He sent multiple text messages to Jack and left a few voice mails that explained he was on his way and would be there soon.

 

A long flight later, with maybe two hours of sleep, Mark landed and practically ran off the plane to hail a taxi. In reality, it didn’t take long for a taxi to pull over but Mark felt his time was running out and the rushed address was proof of that. Two repeats and a small ‘are you okay?’ from the driver, they were off and Mark relaxed his death grip from his bag only slightly.

 

Mark almost forgot to pay the driver but after throwing, _hopefully _, the right amount the guy’s way, he made his way into the building and up the stairs before stopping in front of Jack’s door. He knocked once, then twice, the maybe a dozen times a bit louder before he heard a groan from behind the door and the lock turn.__

__He held his breath for a split second before he saw a very groggy and hungover Jack standing in front of him with half-lidded eyes and Mark was torn between punching him and kissing the ever-loving fuck out of him. He instead pulled Jack into a strong hug, squeezing tight as he buried his face into Jack’s neck, taking him in._ _

__They could talk about this in a moment, Mark just needed to feel Jack in his arms and by the way Jack returned the hug and buried his face in Mark’s neck it seemed the feeling was mutual._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I'm an asshole who writes sad stories? Yeah, that's still a thing.


	4. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has it almost been a month already?! I had thought of this story on and off over the course of the last few weeks and just have not been up to it. I was going to read a fanfic and then decided, I need to write something. So.. after way too many tries to start this, this ball of mess came out. It's a mess. I'm sorry, but I hope you like it?

No words were exchanged between them despite the fact both had a lot rattling in their brains. It was as if they were in a silent agreement not to speak until they were in the safety of their own home which left both men anxious as they finally approached their front door. Mark unlocked it and opened it, clearly not responding to the mess he'd left the house in when he'd searched for Jack. Utensils strewn across the kitchen. Pots and pans lay next to garbage on the floor. Controllers from their consoles in various places across the living room. Pillows clearly having been thrown in a hurry, one even going as far as down the hallway. Jack was stunned by the sights around him but continued to follow Mark into the living room where they sat on the floor since the couch was missing it's cushions and neither were up to finding them. Jack's eyes still scanned the room around them while Mark stared at his hands which were shaking. Despite the little bouts of sleep, he doesn't remember eating, or drinking for that matter, for almost two days now.

Neither knew where to start. Mark had tons of questions that tripped and stumbled over themselves in his head whereas Jack couldn't figure out how to explain himself. No words came clear in Jack's mind so instead he stared at Mark. Disheveled Mark who had dark bags under his bloodshot eyes. Whose body was shaking. Jack's heart clenched painfully and his gut tried to reel from the punch the sight gave him.

"H... Have you had anything to eat or drink..?" Jack began after wetting his lips and gulping a few times. He knew he was avoiding the elephant, which was more of a whale at this point, in the room.

"No." Mark replied, voice hoarse. Jack got up and went to go to the kitchen when Mark lurched forward and gripped Jack's leg which a screamed 'no'. His eyes were wide, staring up at Jack and fear was etched in every line on his face. Jack wished he could beat himself up. He'd done this to Mark. He'd caused this. He gave a weak, shaky smile.

"I was just goin to get some food and drinks." Jack replied, trying not to choke on the lump in his throat. Mark searched Jack's eyes, before giving a shaky nod and standing, hand latched into the fabric of Jack's shirt. The two made their way through the house to the kitchen and Jack surveyed more of the damage that was done. Towels thrown across the floor from an open closet. Cleaning supplies on the floor, some laying in puddles of their contents. Boxes of food, cereal, some cans.. Mark had searched desperately for him and the thought made Jack want to curl up into a ball and tear his skin off.

 

With food and water in their bellies, they made it back to the living room and sat down once more. There was a small stretch of silence before Mark ran his fingers through his already messy hair and let out a shuddering breath.

"Why.." He licked his lips. "Why did you disappear Jack?" Jack had so many answers. He disappeared because he was scared. He was afraid Mark would leave. That he wasn't good enough for Mark. That he wasn't worthy of Mark. He was afraid he was dragging Mark down. There were so many reasons and while he was caught up in them, time had ticked by.

"Did I do something? Say something? Do you.." Mark's voice cracked and he cleared his throat and tried again, eyes now cast to the floor. "Do you not love me anymore?"

"NO!" Jack shouted and Mark paled at the word.

"No it's-it's not that!" Jack urged. "You didn't do nothin wrong or anythin like that!" Fingers ran through his green locks as Mark watched on, afraid to do anything.

"I do love you.. I was.. I was just scared." Jack whispered.

"Of what?" Mark whispered back.

"That I wasn't good enough. Or worthy enough. That you'd leave an.. an I had to leave before you left me.." Jack's voice lowered as he spoke, the lump in his throat making it harder to talk as his eyes watered. "I wouldn't be able to bear it if you left me.. I love you.. and I thought.. I didn't think.." Jack whined, gesturing to the room around them.

"I didn't think you loved me.. I wanted to leave on my own terms before.. before it was too late to leave." Jack hiccuped. Mark crawled over to Jack before wrapping him in a large hug. Both men crying on the other's shoulder. 

"I do love you Jack.. God do I love you. I don't want to leave you. I couldn't bear leaving you. And when you left.. it.." Mark couldn't continue, only distressed noises escaping from his throat.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Mark." Jack wailed, clutching Mark tight.

The two sat, holding each other as they let out all the pain and sorrow that had festered in them.


End file.
